There are opposing views in every area of life. It’s exhausting and confusing.
Drink milk. Don’t drink milk.
Eat meat. Don’t eat meat.
Hawaiian pizza is delicious! Fruit should not be a pizza topping.
Figure skating – a sport?
Guns. (Let’s leave it there).
BUT…I have never, ever, ever, ever read or heard anyone, anywhere say we should NOT eat green veggies.
So there you go. We can stand together in unity around something.
Eat green veggies and make the world a better place.
I was flipping through some notes today and came across an Amazon book review that I had copied down several months ago. The review originally caught my eye because of the 5 bright yellow stars in the subject line.
Why would I copy (and keep) a book review?
Read it for yourself and see what you think.
“When it comes to this new book of his, I agree with him on about 90% of what he has written. But I disagree with the central point of his book…
But I tend not to give negative reviews of books that I disagree with if they are well-written, well-argued, and thought-provoking.”
What? He disagrees with the CENTRAL POINT and yet gives it 5 stars?
I literally paused and took a deep breath when I read it.
I am incredibly encouraged and inspired by his perspective.
“How can we all be more like this?” I wondered.
It appears that disagreement doesn’t equal disrespect. Or at least it doesn’t have to.
Agree or disagree?
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about opinions, assumptions, biases and why it can be so dang difficult to seriously consider a different point of view (never mind actually changing one’s mind about something).
One quick scroll through my Facebook newsfeed gives me a pretty clear picture of how people “dig their heels in” to protect their ideas and opinions on a matter. And, how NO amount of facts or data can change someone’s mind IF they aren’t willing to consider it. (I suspect a few hot topics come to mind?)
Ugh. I find it discouraging and disheartening.
I did some quick reading on the topic and discovered that, “facts by themselves are meaningless. They are ones and zeroes to your mental computer, raw blank data that only take on meaning when run through the software of your feelings.” Yep, even facts and rational arguments get filtered through our perceptions. (And I must say, some people’s filters could use a good cleaning. But that’s just my opinion. 😉 )
“I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one that is closed by belief.” Gerry Spence
Amen. So how do I do that?
Well, I think it’s important to acknowledge that we run EVERYTHING through our filters and biases…ALL THE TIME! We can’t change something unless we are aware of it. And, our filters actually change the message we are hearing! (This is such an important thing to learn for effective communication in relationships.)
And I also think it’s important to notice our posture.
Is my back turned toward an idea? Are my arms crossed?
Am I actually listening to understand or am I only seeking to defend my case?
It’s been over a decade since I read the book, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.
But one piece of wisdom rings in my mind more than any other.
Seek first to understand and then to be understood.
Just imagine what could happen if we did.
Quote from: Why Changing Somebody’s Mind, or Yours, Is Hard to Do by David Ropeik on psychologytoday.com